It's Ok, I'm Wearing Really Big Knickers - Луис Реннисон (арт.62200)

What is the matter with my life? Why is it so deeply unfab? 
Lt's a day and a half now since I snogged the Sex God... 
I think I have snog withdrawal. My lips keep puckering up... 
I tried snogging the back of my hand, but it's no good... 
I wonder if the Sex God is having second thoughts about me because of my nose... 
I have a HUGE nose that means I have to live for ever in the Ugly Home.